part 5 of 10 of the Thriving in Uncertainty Series
Welcome to the 49th edition of #theFutureReadyAdvisor Newsletter!
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Turning Setbacks into Stepping Stones: Lessons in Resilience and Perspective
Here’s the truth: not every setback is a big deal, but knowing the difference is where real power lies. Take Steve Jobs, for instance. In 1985, he was fired from Apple, the very company he had co-founded—a blow that seemed devastating. He couldn’t control the decision, and it surely stung. But instead of letting it define him, Jobs focused on what he could control. Rather than dwell on the setback, he used it as a launchpad, founding Pixar and NeXT. A decade later, he returned to Apple, not just as a leader but as a visionary. The setback that once seemed catastrophic became the key to his ultimate success.
We all face moments in life where things spiral beyond our control. It’s natural to feel frustration or fear in these situations, but the key to long-term success is learning when to let go and when to take action. The 10/10/10 Rule offers a simple but profound framework: will this event matter in 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 months? It helps us gain perspective and release the weight off issues we can’t change.
The reality is that we all face setbacks. What is within our control are our attitudes, actions, and decisions after the setback. Success often emerges from focusing on what we can control — the process, the journey — not from dwelling or brooding on the past.
We live in a world where events can easily overwhelm us—both big and small. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, feeling upset or anxious about things that may not matter in the long run. But gaining perspective is key to navigating these situations with clarity.
Reframe Setbacks by Focusing on What is Significant
The 10/10/10 rule isn’t just about accepting events beyond our control; it’s about reframing their significance in our lives. There is power in letting the little things go and creatively tackling the big things, even when they’re beyond our control. Drawing from Stoic philosophy, which teaches us to focus only on what we can influence, this rule encourages us to ask: “What’s the worst this could mean for me?” This question invites us to put challenges into perspective. Instead of fearing the outcome or dwelling on what we can’t change, we shift our mindset to one of resilience. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius believed that while we cannot control external events, we can control our reaction to them. By reframing adversity, we see it not as a roadblock, but as an opportunity for growth and adaptation. In Jobs’ case, rather than fighting against his firing from Apple, he looked for alternative paths and ultimately created something even greater. Overcoming obstacles isn’t about trying to control the uncontrollable — it’s about how we respond, reflect, and grow from them.
The Eisenhower Matrix: Aligning Urgency with Importance
The 10/10/10 rule is a natural companion to another powerful decision-making tool: the Eisenhower Matrix. Just as the 10/10/10 framework helps us let go of uncontrollable events in the past, the Eisenhower Matrix, which we discussed in a previous edition of the newsletter, distinguishes between urgent and important tasks in the present that will influence the future. General Dwight Eisenhower, faced with the monumental task of planning the Normandy invasion, had to focus on critical, long-term objectives without getting distracted by urgent but inconsequential demands. The same principle applies to the 10/10/10 rule: focus your energies on actions that will matter in the coming months, not on the noise of the present.
For advisors and leaders, this matrix is invaluable when juggling competing demands. There are many urgent tasks — emails, client requests, administrative duties — that demand immediate attention but contribute little to long-term success. Applying both frameworks allows you to focus on what will truly make a difference in 10 months: strategy, business development, and relationships. If it won’t matter in 10 days or 10 weeks, consider how much of your time or energy it is worth, whether you can delegate or outsource it, etc.
Actionable Insights for Advisors and Business Leaders
- Accept What You Can’t Control, Focus on What You Can Use the 10/10/10 Rule to help your clients and teams distinguish between setbacks they can influence and those they must let go. Just as Steve Jobs turned his dismissal from Apple into an opportunity, guide others to see setbacks as a chance for growth, rather than defeat. Market corrections, a few bad stock picks, tax changes – these are realities. We have to accept these setbacks as ones beyond our control. How much will they matter in the long run? What do we do next?
- Prioritize for Long-Term Success The combination of the 10/10/10 Rule and the Eisenhower Matrix is a powerful way to manage time and energy. Urgent matters may demand attention today, but if they won’t impact your goals in the long term, delegate or dismiss them. Focus instead on actions that will drive sustainable success.
- Cultivate Resilience by Reframing Challenges Encourage clients and teams to ask: “What’s the worst that could happen? And how will we respond?” When an obstacle seems insurmountable, reframing it helps them regain control over their responses. By focusing on what they can do — rather than what they can’t — they’ll become more adaptable, just as Steve Jobs did.
Next edition
In the next edition, we’ll explore the power of objective assessment — how avoiding bias and managing emotions can sharpen your decision-making and set you up for long-term success.
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